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Sometimes You Just Got To Be That A-Hole

January 8, 2010

I think inviting single people to your wedding sans plus one is A-okay.

Phew, I said it!

with a clause: it is never okay to uninvite someone to your wedding. Or un-bridesmaid a bridesmaid. You miscounted and now you have too many guests if everyone brought their plus ones? That sucks, wear your big girl panties and deal with it.

When Shoestring Boy and I first started planning our wedding, we knew we only had a teeny tiny budget to work with. Goodness, the idea of sticker shock was, I thought, was all an urban myth. In Malaysia, of course, we have obscenely large weddings. The village and then some. My parent’s reception had over 300 people, they did not know the half of them. It was held in a high school gym, the other place large enough to hold everyone. We didn’t want that. We wanted and still do: a wedding where everyone is like family, where we know every single person there. Maybe that is an urban myth too. A wedding when you go to with your heart filled with hope and leave with your heart filled with joy. Maybe it is shallow to think that a total stranger would not be able to understand everything we have been thru to get to this point. In a perfect world, we would invited everyone that ever held a place in our heart. In a perfect world, I would have a full 5 course sit down dinner. A dessert table with all our favorites: NY cheesecake, my mother’s chocolate cake, red velvet cake. A ballroom with crystal Italian chandelier.

In this world, I can only invite my dearest and nearest. Am I going to be to turn people away at the door? Well, no (don’t tell anyone!). Ya know, I am very generous but I don’t know about buying supper, entertaining them, giving them drinks and presents for strangers and stuff. I might be getting married but I am still broke and cheap! If they want to bring along their fiance/e, lover, boyfriend, please do but I was always brought up that inviting people to another person’s party (unless, it is encouraged), never mind a wedding is rude. Just saying.

In this world, I have a small two tier cake and to heck with holding the top layer of the cake (that is so stupid I can barely remember to eat dinner!) but chocolate, of course. Don’t people die from eating moldy cake? Or at least a very bad tummy ache.

In this world, I have hors d’oeuvre on tables because passed would mean more man hours to pay for. Though that would be pretty fancy, no? If it makes you feel better though they are going to be looking pretty fine. With like trays and stuff.

In this world, I told everyone to leave their children at home. I really don’t like crazy children. I don’t like them screaming. In my worst nightmares, children are throwing temper tantrums down the aisle and crying during the vows. *shudder* I have babysitters for those who would need a babysitter. I like to encourage the parents to think of this as a night off for them. They get to be in evening dress without worrying about my chocolate cake down their front! It’s like a gift. In my opinion.

So no, I don’t want your extra friends at my wedding. Or uncle Max who remembers me that one time we met when I was two. No to screaming kids please.

So maybe some* might disagree with me 😉 but as a whole (haha), if I have to be an biatch about it. I will do it. No regrets.


I was going to post this up later but I am sneaking off for a bount of shoe shopping with the sis and we are going to try out a new bbq place. And then I have my super amazing hen-night with the girls Saturday through Sunday. You are jealous. Its okay. Posting might be light this weekend. If at all. But I will make it all up to you when I get back I swear!

* This is in no way meant to be a dig at the very awesome “A Cupcake Wedding” who is almost my soul-blogger except on this very issue. Probably because I am bitchy and she is not. And I am a cheapo and she is not.

5 Comments leave one →
  1. January 8, 2010 2:20 pm

    I AM such a bitchy cheapo, but thanks for writing otherwise.

    Perhaps you missed the post where I announced I was disviting people who I only invited because of peer pressure? I had to delete the post because so many girls were sending me CRAZY hate mail. You know, like calling me a bridezilla, entitled crazy bitch. For real. Besides, I checked and I can’t actually disinvite anyone because the guests I dont really like are close relatives (I just can’t bring myself to do it) or business associates who I will likely need for references one day. Sigh.

    So anyhow. I am a bitch. I just hate being invited somewhere and not being able to bring a guest, so I have this thing about plus ones.

    Most of my single friends have told me they won’t use their plus ones because who wants to book airfare to go to the wedding of a stranger? Thus: I get to look gracious, but don’t have to spend money on strangers.

  2. January 8, 2010 2:21 pm

    Enjoy your girls’ weekend. I hope it makes the Hangover look like a Pre-K fieldtrip.

  3. Colleen permalink
    January 8, 2010 3:37 pm

    You were right: I AM a little bit jealous! 🙂 I hope you have a great time!

  4. January 9, 2010 9:38 am

    We completely half-assed the guest thing. We didn’t write “and guest” on the envelope, but we said “yes” to everyone who called to ask if they could bring someone. (I don’t actually recommend this strategy. I learned later that at least one of my friends would have loved to bring his new-ish girlfriend, and she would have loved to come, but they didn’t ask because they actually knew the etiquette. If I had it back to do again I would invite all out-of-town guests with “and guest,” because you generally don’t go to an out-of-town wedding with someone unless the relationship is serious.)

    Have a fabulous hen night … and remember, if you throw a public tantrum while shoe shopping, you might get free stuff 😉

  5. January 10, 2010 3:45 pm

    I am the process of wedding planning and I just warned a few folks “hey, I love you, but space it tight and you will most of the folks at the wedding” everyone has been super cool about it.
    Now, It’s more of a rub if the one person isn’t going to know a person aside from you…

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