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Baby Fee-vah!

January 22, 2010
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No, no, no, not me. Gurl, you must be outside yo’ mind *said with snapping fingers hand motion*

My college roommate recently had her baby girl: Superbaby M.

Superbaby M is 5 days old in this picture with my Shoestring Boy.

He looks at me later and goes “I hope you are not thinking of having one of those now”

Heck to the no. Well, at least not for another half a decade. At least. I like my body the way it is, thank you very much.

I am not going to lie, not that I was thinking “Oh my Word, we need to start procreating. Now” but at some point of time during the night, I looked over at the Honey and seeing him hold that baby, my heart sort of flutters and I think “he is going to be such a great father” Not that we have not talked about having children and the whole nine yards but honestly, I have never really given any serious thought to whether or not we would be good parents. For Heaven’s sakes, I am just trying to get my head around the fact we are legally wedded and soon to be socially wedded.

I am not one of those girls. Honestly, the idea of pregnancy sort of freaks me out. It scares the living bejesus out of me.

There is something growing inside of you. Apart from you. A parasite. (Shoestring Boy’s pregnant coworker is convinced I am not a woman. Did I mention she hates my guts?)

You stop having total control of your own body.

Ultrasound pictures weird me out. So do pictures of naked pregnant women.

I never understood why women want to have children. I was beginning to wonder if I was not born with a maternal instinct. I am convinced it is over-rated anyway.

As I kiss Superbaby M on her forehead, I realized why people make a big flipping deal about babies. You brought something wonderful into the world. The amount of responsiblity that comes with having a child and knowing that you are in charge of that responsiblity, or helping this little one grow up is mind-blowing (from a completely different way than “o.m.g. this came from inside of me!”).

Not that I have never held babies and I have baby-sat for quite a few in my lifetime but I know I am going to be a big part of Superbaby M’s life. I did not think it would make a difference but it does. I am going to see this baby grow up. I remember her mother and I with our friends on and around our couch at weekly girl parties. Someday she will have her own. So maybe that is not the real reason people get excited about babies and maybe I am completely missing the point but now I see the thrill of a child beyond being able to get them lovely clothes from Jack and Janie. Now I see why mothers say their children are their biggest accomplishments (I use to scoff at that and probably still will in the future because I am snotty like that). It is because in this day and age, beyond having a child, but having your child grow up and having your child be an active contributing member of society. That is accomplishment indeed. To know you made a difference in this world by doing your best by a single person. That is the miracle.

Now I wonder if Shoestring Boy would let me get a surrogate. . .

 

 

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4 Comments leave one →
  1. January 22, 2010 2:45 pm

    Haha, you’re too funny. At least you have a better understanding of the emotional side of the baby thing now, even if your uterus isn’t twinging just yet. And that baby is gorgeous, and so small, so very, very small. They are a little scary.

  2. January 22, 2010 3:08 pm

    I feel you on this one…I have never once had the desire to be pregnant. I think if I ever have kids, I’ll adopt. My sister is 35 and 7 months pregnant and is miserable…thats probably about how old i’d be unless and “accident” happens. But my body already has enough issues dealing with pain…I can’t imagined how much worse it would be carrying around that extra weight!

  3. January 22, 2010 8:54 pm

    its totally worth it, if you like kids. and you can not like all other kids in the world and still love your own. cause that’s kind of how i feel.

  4. aimee permalink
    January 22, 2010 10:46 pm

    awww look at my baby girl!! She is just so precious lol! I knew you would eventually get to the point where u might think about kids but i am super glad you realize that now is not the time lol, we both know u and cory will make awesome parents and until then superbaby m totally need her jesselyn and hey at least u get to send her home and we are the ones with the sleepless nights! Love u hun!

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