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I Am Not A Half

January 25, 2010


When I was single, one of my pet peeves (I have a lot) with couples were their trite “we are each a half of one whole” bit. Pfft . . . Really? I don’t know about you, but I happen to be made whole. The notion of someone out there to “complete” you seems a little iffy to me. I don’t need completing. I am complete. I am not part of a half, I am a whole person. I am not missing anything (that I know of) though my friends say I lack in modesty but that is beside the point. 😀

Now that I am part of a couple, while I still don’t neccessarily agree that I am part of a whole or that I am incomplete without Shoestring Boy, I understand, to some degree the notion of halfness. Or the feeling of something missing when he is not there. With my Shoestring Boy, at the risk of sounding completely corny and puke-worthy, he rightens my world when he is there. Colors are brighter, scents are sharper… alright, I was just pulling your leg. Everyone gobbles that up, what is with love addling people’s brains? Shoestring Boy does not give me super heighten senses (though it would be pretty freaking awesome if he did) and honestly, the thought of someone capable of doing that is intimidating to me.

Why, if you found someone who did all of that for you: made your sense super-hero sharp, set the world on its’ axel, etc no wonder you wouldn’t be able to live without that person or feel like something is missing when they are not there. Personally, I think I would keel over from sensory overload but there you go, that is the Shoestring Bride for you.

I love my Shoestring Darling. He makes me want to be a better person (if not he pushes me into doing the things I most dread doing but I know I need to). He is my constant and consistent supporter though he is by no means a “yes man” – how dull would that be? He makes me laugh when I want to cry (even when I am crying) and even when I want to stay mad at him (which is really infruriating).

Here is the thing though: I am perfectly capable of functioning on my own. I have before and probably will be able to without him. He does not make me whole. I am whole. He makes me better. He does not complete me. I complete me, he makes me happy. I can live without him. I just choose not to. To depend on someone else for your completion or your fulfillment seems like a lot of work for one person. That is tall order indeed. I think I need to put out a V-Day card out that says “I am pretty awesome. But you make me more awesome. Thanks. I Love You.” I wonder if it is going to be best seller. I don’t think so though.

Does he make you whole? It is okay if he does. It’s cool. I’ll just make fun of you. Hah! 😀


Picture lifted off an ecard.

7 Comments leave one →
  1. January 25, 2010 2:55 pm

    you seriously have the funniest blog I’ve ever written! I love it–I hope your real job requires writing.

    I would totally by your V-day card…In fact I think it would be a hit and you should submit it to Hallmark!

  2. January 25, 2010 2:55 pm

    I mean, ever read…he he…obviously my job does not require writing skills.

  3. January 25, 2010 3:08 pm

    Word. I found myself nodding in agreement with much of what you were sayin’. I just spent 4 months moving around the east coast, scopin’ out surgical residency programs. Friends kept asking me, “how are you able to be away from Tommy so long?!” “how are you holding up?” “are you homesick for him!?”

    Now. I always sorta said what I knew they wanted to hear…because I don’t want to sound like a raging bitch. BUT…he and I would have many convos about it…that I’m autonomous…am rarely homesick…and have a marvelous time on my own. In fact, I had a delightfully fantastic time in those 4 months (perhaps the best 4 months of my life – the adventures were epic)…and yet, I frequently wished he were there with me…to experience it all too. But I didn’t sit in my room and cry because I was alone. And I certainly didn’t wish I was home!

    It is so interesting how couples work so differently.

  4. January 25, 2010 3:46 pm

    I’d have to say you hit the nail on the head. I don’t think anyone should rely on anyone else to make them whole. Because honestly, are you just going to completely deconstruct if that one person is no longer in your life? I would hope not. But yes, having the Mr. around does seem to make things better because I get to enjoy every experience in life a little more knowing that I get to share it with him. However, similar to you, I am pretty awesome on my own.

  5. Jesselyn permalink*
    January 25, 2010 6:59 pm

    @ ruthyg – awww… that means so much to me. You have no idea. I love to write. So I will not have a job that requires writing. It might kill my love. lol.

    @ Jes – ah. I use to say things so people wouldn’t think I am a raging bitch. Not worth the stress. 😉

    @miss fancy pants – that is why I love you ladies. We are awesome. And we didn’t/ will not leave our brains at the altar

  6. January 26, 2010 12:43 am

    Yes, yep, yeppy! Love it!

  7. January 26, 2010 1:27 am

    Yes! I feel the same way. Especially because G and I were in a long-distance relationship for 2 years, and now he deploys for 2.5 months at a time, I’m quite used to being by myself. I’m a very independent person and I love that about myself. I actually enjoy doing a lot of things on my own and even though doing those things with him makes them better, I am fine on my own too. He’s like the Mrs. Dash to my already tasty dish. (Does that make sense?!)

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