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Lunch With The Pastor

February 4, 2010

I went to have lunch with two of my favorite people in the world today! My ex-college minister and his darling daughter who I am unashamed to admit I have been stalking on Facebook since forever and a day. The daughter not my minister (how creepy would that be?).

My minister, D, adopted his daughter from Ethopia 15 months ago.

We talked about the ceremony.

We decided on:

D: who gives this daughter to marry this man?

Dad: She comes of her own accord, with the blessings of her mother and me.

D nods and smiles. It is very you.

Thank you to Jo Goddard for the idea.

We talked on wedding rituals we hated: unity candles when they blow out the separate candles (what is that suppose to signify? Death to self? Yikes), The Velveteen Rabbit, etc

What we did not talk about was obvious. How very much joy his daughter gave him. Just seeing it made my heart swell with joy.

I always wanted to adopt much to the dismay of my mother who is the very reason I want to adopt a child in the first place.

“Why would you adopt when you can have your own children?” Mom would ask in confusion.

“Why should I have my own if there are so many children already out there who need love? If I have the capability of giving a child a home and love and family, I should.”

My mother was adopted and even though her adoption was not the most perfect in the world I think there can be so much good that comes from adoption.

Though as I watched D manage his chicken sandwich, cut up E-girl’s chicken sandwich, finagle some frozen peas into E-girl’s mouth (she loves frozen vegetables, it is the funniest thing), making sure she didn’t slip off her seat when he was turned around, I thought “mmm… maybe in a couple of years”.

What are your thoughts on adoption? Would you adopt?


Is she not the most beautiful girl you have ever seen? 


Picture from Facebook. 😀

6 Comments leave one →
  1. February 4, 2010 3:31 pm

    We’re definitely considering adoption. Although we’re worried about waiting times and cost, the part that worries me the most is becoming attached to a child only to have the adoption fall through. I’m not sure I could handle that.
    But I think the idea of giving a child in need a lifetime of love would be worth all the time, money and heartache in the world. Plus, since I have zero desire to give up control of my body for 9 months and go through a ridiculous amount of bodily pain, adoption looks really appealing.

  2. February 4, 2010 5:01 pm

    YES! So glad you wrote about this…we would totally be BFF’s if we lived closer. My fiancee and I will most definately adopt. We are ok with not having any biological children. By the time we feel we are ready for kids…I might be too old..i’m almost 32 and we are not thinking about kids for at least a few years. My sister is currently 35 and pregnant and having an awful time…i dunno if i’d want to go through that at that age anyway. We’ll see!

  3. February 4, 2010 5:52 pm

    she is so stinkin’ cute!

  4. February 5, 2010 8:39 am

    One day many, many years ago, when I witnessed a young mother in the slums, beating her two innocent toddlers, just because of a very tiny clumsy thing one of them did. Ugh…I despised her, but there was nothing I could do at that time. From that time on, I knew in my heart that if get blessed to adopt a child, I would certainly go for it. There are many children born to unfortunate circumstances in the world, who need to be loved and cared for. I have faith in the saying that Love begets love, and because of this, I know that if you love a child with all your heart, no matter how biologically unrelated you are, that child will learn to love you too in return. That’s one of the sweetest and kindest thing a person can do in this world.

  5. February 5, 2010 1:44 pm

    Darling kid! We would consider adopting and also plan to have our own.

    By the way, I love that line:”Dad: She comes of her own accord, with the blessings of her mother and me.” Might have to coach my dad on that one! 🙂

  6. February 7, 2010 2:34 pm

    I wanted to adopt a child when i was younger.

    I have 3 children and I hated being pregnant for the most part. Even so, i’ve felt it it’s so worth it in the end because the link you have with your child from the very first instant in the womb is so so so unique and powerful. Not saying you don’t have a special link with an adopted child, but i would have hated to miss the pregnancy part, however difficult it is…

    Also, I’m kind of shocked at some of the reasons raised here for wanting to adopt : charity, pity ? Kind of a hard weight for a child to be carrying around all of his life (ie. i’d better be good/worth it/meritable because my parents did this thing to “save” me…), no? Seems unhealthy to me. Kids are ungrateful, and that’s normal. I don’t think they should have to feel like they “owe” you anything (until maybe when they are adults and realize what you did for them when they have their own children lol).

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