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T-9 Days – Doubt

February 11, 2010

It was a doubt day today.

I wondered aloud to a friend if Cory and I’s differences were going to pull us apart or help each other compensate for what the other did not have.

My friend nodded understandingly. After all, opposites attract but don’t neccessarily stay together and days like today, all I can think about are our differences.

For example, this wedding highlights in all the worst way how different our families are from one another.

His family not understanding the symbolism of the chinese tea ceremony to my culture wonders aloud to us if they could have vodka instead of tea.

He moans to me at night “oh my God, Jesselyn, this is going to like a movie where the groom’s family just embaresses him but it won’t be funny because it is me!”

I am terribly driven. I always want the next best thing. The corporate big-wig job. Open my own business. A loft in the city, a house in the country. He wants the stable job. The white picket fence. Two kids and a dog.

I yearn to travel. I crave it like a drug. I cannot stand to be in one place for too long. He loves home. Standing still. Being stable and safe.

I say toh-may-toes, he says to-mah-toes.

Then I realized, that whether or not our differences make us a better couple or whether it tears us apart is within our control. Compromise and love and grace makes us a very strong couple.

6 Comments leave one →
  1. February 11, 2010 6:45 am

    Phew. I thought we were going to talk to you back from the ledge. But I’m glad you’re not 100% doubtful. Girl, I think if you can make it through wedding planning which (like you said) highlights some of the worst aspects of your relationship, you’ll be just fine.

  2. February 11, 2010 7:54 am

    I know were you are coming from. The groom and I don’t even share the same native language. We literally don’t understand each other sometimes. And I am way more ambitious than him. But I think that our differences keep us interesting to the other. We are constantly learning new things from the other and growing together. That IS fun.

  3. February 11, 2010 7:54 am

    Nine days! WOOHOO!!

  4. February 11, 2010 8:31 am

    It would be seriously dull if you and Cory agreed about everything. Bean and I are alike but different enough to give and take when things are more or less important to each other. I think compromise is part of love. It’s not just you, it’s about the two of you together.

  5. pobadmin permalink
    February 11, 2010 8:58 am

    I wonder about this with Ryan and I too..I’m a city person, he’s not, he is awesome with money, I’m not…but you’re right, you wake up every day and you have the choice to deal with you differences (which can be good just as they can be bad) in a loving and gracious way. It’s not the differences or the fights that are the undoing of a relationship, it’s the way you deal with them.

  6. February 11, 2010 9:00 pm

    Be thankful that he isn’t as ambitious as you are- there is rarely room for two people in the relationship who both intend to take over the world 🙂 Just be glad you’ll have him there to bring you back down to Earth!

    This way, you can both learn from each other. He’ll see places he never would have seen otherwise, and you’ll appreciate home more. Everyone wins!

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