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Lance-alot (Day Before)

February 23, 2010

My Doctor: Sir Lancelot the Brave

So by the time I went to bed the night before the night before the wedding (you got that?), I am dying because of my abcess (not literally mind you). I can barely walk. Sleeping is a chore. And I am thinking of my walk down the aisle and it doesn’t look so pretty.

Because my boy and I have no mystery or reserves in our marriage or our relationship, I ask him to take a look *ahem* down South and tell me if I should get it taken care of before the Big Day.

We go into the bedroom (we have some propriety!) and he takes a peek “Man, I thought you were just kidding when you said it was the size of a golf ball!”


Exactly what you want to hear from your man.

“Wait, wait, wait, you need to see this for yourself” he runs and gets the camera and snaps two shots. “One without flash and one with flash just so you have the clearest picture!” I don’t need a clear picture! I don’t even want a picture! He hit replay then proceeds to give me a run down on the anatomy of my female part. Very grotesquely deformed, at the moment, female part and accidentally hits zoom.

“ARGH! That is too much of me! Too much I say!” I screamed covering my eyes.

Which is at the point we decided, going in to see the doctor on Friday was probably the best idea.

So there we were in the doctor’s office in the morning before my wedding, getting my abcess lanced. An excellent start to the weekend festivities.

After the wedding when my sister dropped by our hotel to drop off the cake she kindly mentioned

“Erm… by the way, there were a couple kinky pictures on your camera and we got an eyeful”

Oh shit. We forgot to delete the pictures and our camera was passed around all night. Looks like our guests got a look at more of me than they bargained for. Shoestring Bride FAIL.

Moral of the story to Future Brides: Give your camera to a trusted friend to take pictures during the wedding but don’t forget to delete all personal pictures beforehand.

11 Comments leave one →
  1. February 23, 2010 3:01 am

    Oh my sweet! That is love.

    P.S. Thank you for the advice!

  2. February 23, 2010 3:22 am

    My heart just stopped when I read the last part.

    Glad you got it relatively sorted before the day though 🙂

  3. February 23, 2010 6:17 am


    At least you looked fabulous , can’t wait to see the rest of the pictures!

  4. February 23, 2010 6:56 am

    Bet you needed a real good hug after that one. Oh girl, camera FAIL indeed.
    I’ll try to remember that.

  5. February 23, 2010 7:45 am

    Oh my gosh! What a story. You seem to have handled it with grace and humor, though!

  6. February 23, 2010 8:07 am

    oh the bit about the camera sucks…i died a lil bit inside for you.

    except, i’m so so so glad you had the problem taken care of! that must have been such a huge relief.

    ps: your hubby sounds like a sweetheart

  7. Jesselyn permalink*
    February 23, 2010 2:29 pm

    @ Thao – it’s one of those things. What else are you suppose to do, ya know?
    @ Jes – you cannot tell but Cory is preening over here next to me. He loves being a good hubby. He loves it even more when other people notice *rolls eyes*

  8. February 23, 2010 6:38 pm

    Oh dear. What can you do but laugh?

  9. February 23, 2010 9:39 pm

    Oh dear! The last part is just horribly embarrassing. I hope people were not nosy enough to have gone through your personal pics, and hope it was just your sister (and very close girlfriends, since she said “we”) who saw them. If it happened to me, I’d probably either die of shame or relocate to Antartica afterwards. lol.

  10. February 25, 2010 7:38 pm

    I know I shouldn’t, but I can’t help but laugh at that last part. Oh my, I’m so sorry!

    Glad to hear you got everything taken care of before the wedding though.

  11. February 28, 2010 10:21 pm


    You poor thing. I would have just died.

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