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People Are Going To Hate Your Wedding

March 5, 2010

If you don’t keep your wits about you, you are going to drown in the sea of opinions.

When I went home this past weekend my mother told me she was not very impressed with the decor.

It gutted me.

My sister told me she didn’t like my wedding cake. She sniffed and said she could have made better from a box.

My brother complained there was not enough food.

I stressed over the wedding like my own child (possibly more). I pored over pictures like they would save my life. I cried twice during planning (both times they were mother related but we won’t get into that).

It doesn’t matter that my pastor told me the wedding was chic.

That dad told me the wedding was lovely and worth every penny (I think he is lying but he is a sweet man).

That people love what photos I had up.

What anyone remembers after all is that people think your wedding is a flop.

What is a girl to do?

At first I was furious. What the crap? The cake was awesome! In fact, I had specifically asked for a no white cake. I hate white cake. So I had chocolate. With fudge filling. In fact, I lived off the cake leftovers for days after. Cory and I laugh at the silly notion of saving the top for the anniversary. Pooh, pooh! I had to bite my tongue to tell my mother that we could have had better decor if we had more money. My brother is 13 so I just ignored him. It’s easy at that age to be a party pooper.

Then like all epiphanies I slowly realized (this is becoming the name of the game really) that it doesn’t matter what other people think. Although, I care very, very much. These people are important to me after all and they aren’t just anyone I can tell to jump off a bridge (well, I can but I don’t think they’ll take it very well).

I like our wedding. Cory really couldn’t care less where and how we got married as long as we are married.

I love that the decor was simple and chic.

I like that my cake was chocolate.

I think I looked pretty darn awesome.

I have a feeling most people had a really good time.

Everyone else who thinks otherwise can jump off a bridge.

 People are going to hate your wedding and that’s okay.




The picture is of my wedding, pre party. I wanted a 1940s club kind of feel. Thank you to my wedding planner Lara and picture credited to Tracy Nanthavongsa

17 Comments leave one →
  1. March 5, 2010 1:22 pm

    um…your decor looks freaking fabulous. LOVE the feathers…love them.

  2. March 5, 2010 1:33 pm

    You tell them, lady! I totally can hear all the nay-sayers already, and our wedding is four months away. I think your decor is super-cool!

  3. March 5, 2010 3:19 pm

    Congrats on only crying twice…that seems like a very low number :).

  4. March 5, 2010 3:48 pm

    Darling, your wedding looked amazing! and you look amazing! You’re right, there will always be naysayers just because you went untraditional. But as long as you know it was fabulous and your memories are fabulous, then stick with that!

  5. March 5, 2010 3:51 pm

    Oh! and I saw your darling picture on Weddingbee as today’s Gallery of the Day! Whoop!

    • Jesselyn permalink*
      March 5, 2010 4:14 pm

      Thanks for letting me know, love, I had no idea I made Gallery of the Day!

  6. cupcake wedding permalink
    March 5, 2010 5:32 pm

    Sigh. People are such assholes. Why can’t they keep they haterade to themselves?

  7. March 5, 2010 10:16 pm

    i love that miss cupcake used the word “haterade.”

    and i like the post…though i’m sure it was hella frustrating to compose. i think about this sometimes. i know some of our peeps will have their neg opinions…but i also know our guests love us at the same time. so. eff ’em. we aren’t getting married for these people…we aren’t writing our vows to wow the crowd….or getting prettified so people can tell us how beautiful we look (ummm…well…actually yes…yes I am going to try and look pretty so people tell me how beautiful I am).

    you got to dance your ass off, while wearing a DIVINE designer dress you adored! you got to stuff yourself silly with the yummiest cake ever! AND you did it all by the side of your Cory. You are golden.

  8. March 6, 2010 7:20 am

    That photo at the top makes your wedding look INSANELY awesome. People are just rude.

  9. March 6, 2010 8:14 pm

    Agreed with cupcake. People should keep the haterade to themselves. I went through a similar episode with my dad’s girlfriend, and even though I don’t really care what she thinks about anything, it still stung to hear that our food sucked and the cake slices were too small and she couldn’t hear the string quartet and bitch bitch bitch etc.

    So yeah. People are going to hate your wedding. But it really is OK, because it doesn’t matter. And I love this photo!!

  10. March 7, 2010 11:02 am

    Yes, yes and yes. You are wise.

  11. March 7, 2010 1:43 pm

    WOW. I can’t believe people said that stuff to you. I am shocked actually. I am so sorry. But you have the right idea- what is important is how you and your husband experienced the day, and the commitment you celebrated that day. I hope the joy and positive memories stay in your mind and heart forever and the negative feedback fades in your memory over time.

  12. March 7, 2010 1:46 pm

    you are so right. your wedding was awesome and those people can suck it.
    i just wish i wasn’t my own worst haterader… ugh.

  13. pobadmin permalink
    March 8, 2010 3:17 pm

    Those party poopers can suck it big time, your wedding kicked ass! Don’t let them drag you down, maybe they didn’t like it because it wasn’t the kind of wedding THEY would’ve planned. But you wouldn’t want that kind of a wedding anyway. You had YOUR wedding and it was beautiful, and your pastor was right, totally chic.

  14. March 13, 2010 7:35 am

    I can relate. I still have 7 months to go, yet my mom’s already complaining about some of my wedding stuff. Oh well, may this experience be a lesson to us, so that when its our turn to be the Mother of the Bride, we’ll remember not to be as annoying as our mothers have been. Lol!

  15. March 16, 2010 11:57 am

    YIKES. your mom sucks.

  16. anonymous permalink
    June 15, 2010 5:30 pm

    I love that this “rant” is almost poetic in structure and prose. I hope it was theraputic to get all this out. The day is just a day, and we wouldn’t bother so much with that day, but it’s the biggest party we ever throw usually. Maybe the people that didn’t like it, just shouldn’t be invited to any of your parties anymore!

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