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The Vows

March 8, 2010
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I don’t have my professional pictures yet but is that going to hold back my recaps? No, because I am the awesome-st blogger in the world. And the humblest of course ūüėČ

How to wed:

. sit in your dressing room till the last possible second before deciding, “Hmm… changing might be a really good idea”

. Have the bridesmaids start hyperventilating because they are going to have to put your veil on for you and “F-ing A, we have no clue how to do this”.

. Sister gives you a smooch on your cheek and comes away to realize that she has left a bright red lipstick imprint on your blusher veil. Everyone cusses and runs for makeup remover.

. Everyone runs outside to get lined up like pigs to the slaughter. You take that brief respite to ask your Daddy to pray for you. Simultaneously thinking “Crap, this is really happening” and “WTH, I have already done this, why am I freaking out again?”

. Think “so much for brief respite” as bridesmaids and everyone and their grandmother run in and out of the bridal suite trying to put last minute stuff away. Looks like that iPhone wasn’t able to fit in her bra afterall.

. Walk down the aisle and hold your breath. See your beloved and whoosh. Just like that, the world rightens on its axel, the room stop being off kilter and everything sorts of fades away. Then you realize crap, you just been watching too many rom coms, that is just the veil getting in the way, why did you decide to wear a blusher?

. Holds your breath as you realize you didn’t go over the “giving away” bit with the pastor and your parents.

“Who blesses the union of this woman to this man?”

“Rose and I do”

. Thank God the pastor knows you well enough to know that he mentioned “giving her” you were going to have a choking fit and collapse at the altar. Or maybe something equally dramatic.

. The pastor asks for the rings. Your maid of honor hands it over only for your pastor to look at it quizzically. “Wrong ring” and turn to the Best Man instead.

. Your beloved squeezes your hand three times. I. Love. You. And winks. You smile. And squeeze back twice. Me. Too.

. He says his vows. You say your vows.

. And then the kiss. The groom throws your blusher back. And you see his eyes widen in panic as he thinks “F- did I rip¬†out her veil?” Realizes he didn’t and kisses you.

. You lean back really quick¬†because your¬†Asian relatives are watching and you feel akward about public physical affection¬†even though you grope him in public whenever they aren’t watching anyway.

. You beloved doesn’t allow you to get away that easily and traps you in his arms and you think¬†“this is¬†not such a bad place to be”

. Pastor pronounce you husband and wife.

. You stand at the alter in a daze till the pastor give you a gentle shove to remind you to go back down the aisle. Oh right. You are done now. 

 

¬†Author’s Note: I am sure you all sick to death of recaps. It is extremely hard, I have you know to be able to recapture into words how much the wedding meant to you. Really – ask Mrs T! You probably have one more recap coming your way (don’t moan at me!). With a comprehensive list of my vendors. I know, all of this is just mind-numbingly dull but bear with me. I am trying to make this as entertaining as I can I swear! And then we are done. And all you have left to content with is me moping about what to do about this blog!

 

 

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12 Comments leave one →
  1. March 8, 2010 4:10 pm

    Yeah right! I love recaps. I want more, and more, and more. I eat them up. Plus, you’re hilarious and give a much more accurate account of the true emotions and actions behind the ceremony rather than just being all “oh, everything was perfect, we’re so in love”. I mean, you are in love, but it’s nice to know what you were thinking too.

    My favorite part of this one : “Your beloved squeezes your hand three times. I. Love. You. And winks. You smile. And squeeze back twice. Me. Too.”

    Um, yeah, that’s what we’ll be doing the entirety of our ceremony. Like we have been for 5 years. Go secretly expressed moments of love!

  2. March 8, 2010 4:54 pm

    I love it! you’re so cute, but um,..where ARE you in those photos? are you crouching in front of that feathers-on-a-pillar display by your bridemaids? How tall are you? ūüôā

  3. March 8, 2010 4:56 pm

    ya seriously! keep them coming! love it!

  4. March 8, 2010 5:57 pm

    DUDE. You better keep these coming.

  5. March 8, 2010 6:29 pm

    Like everyone else, love the recaps! And we do the hand squeeze thing too!

  6. March 8, 2010 6:51 pm

    Recaps are awesome. Keep ’em coming!

  7. barbride permalink
    March 8, 2010 11:54 pm

    Love it! I loved “Then you realize crap, you just been watching too many rom coms, that is just the veil getting in the way, why did you decide to wear a blusher?” Hahaha. Can’t wait to see you pictures, darling.
    Oh, so was it still nerve-wracking even though you were already legally married? I’m curious about this.

  8. March 9, 2010 9:08 am

    I don’t find it mind numbingly dull at all, keep them coming!

  9. March 9, 2010 11:19 am

    Oh the hand squeezing! Pictures are delicious but you words are better.

  10. March 9, 2010 9:19 pm

    TOTALLY want like twenty more recaps. Don’t skim over it because you think we don’t want it because we TOTALLY do.

    Thanks for the link love. Always get a kick out of it when someone mentions me – especially someone I admire like you.

    Recaps are hard! I need to hurry up with mine or I’ll end up with no one reading them.

  11. Jesselyn permalink*
    March 10, 2010 1:57 am

    You guys are the greatest blog readers (“bleeders” in the words of Julia) a girly could want. *tear* I keep thinking “who the crap wants to read about this shiate?!”

  12. March 12, 2010 12:51 am

    What do you mean “who the crap want to read about this shiate?!” WE do! You can’t be done recapping yet. Get on it.

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