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Writing A Love Letter

August 10, 2010
by

Today is the one year anniversary of my Beloved and I’s one year anniversary: our courthouse wedding. What can I say? We loved getting married so much we put ourselves through the horror of it twice. We are attempting to do the traditional wedding gifts so that means paper for the first year anniversary and because we are horribly unimaginative (and quite honestly, flat broke) we are writing love letters to each other.

“Aw,” you say with a smirk on your face. Believe me it is more difficult than it sounds. I was brought up in household where physical affection was a novelty and not the norm. To this day, my mother could never get use to the hugging that Southern women do to greet their friends and acquaintances. In fact, if you met them once before, they qualify for a hug. My mother still gives very stilted hugs. “Man-hugs” my sister and I call them. When guys give each other hugs, unless it is in the privacy of their locker rooms where they can safely smack one another’s butts as a sign of manhood, men just sort of reach over and give you an enthusiastic pat on the back leaving as much space as possible between their body and yours. I have seen my mom and dad hold hands and hug but a kiss is rare and I don’t think they know what French kissing means (hell, I don’t think I know what French kissing means).

I graduated from my conservative Western-Asian household to middle school where I threw myself into charismatic Christian groups with their tambourines and their dancing. Girls hug but only floozies hug boys. As a young adult, I affected the cynicism and aggregated disdain for love and all it entails soaked into my upper-middle-class-educated-worldly-woman persona. After all, if you are well educated and you have something going on with your life why the hell would you want to get married? Only “desperate” women threw themselves at men. I think love becomes the ultimate irony for the modern woman but that is a subject for another day. We laugh at women who get married immediately after college. Guess what I did? Yup, I got married. Humble pie might not always taste bad but it sure is still embarrassing having to eat your words.

Now where was I? Right, all that to say is I can craft a beautiful epitaph for a birthday card, argue my point in a research paper, but by golly, when I look down at the paper and think of trying to write a “love letter” my mouth goes dry. I am comforted by the fact that Cory is a horrible love letter writer too. We are just way too self-conscious. Coming to terms with love and being in love and being an independent, “I don’t need nobody” woman is a juggling act even in the privacy of my own thoughts. How do I put into words how much I love this man without sounding like a sap? Where do I even find the words to begin to describe how I feel when he looks at me in the way that he does? I have a huge amount of respect for those who write their own vows. I am quite honestly lost. Help?

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9 Comments leave one →
  1. August 10, 2010 1:03 pm

    The one and only love-ish letter I ever received from my beloved (written when he was 17) started something like this:

    I am writing to you for two reasons. First, I am in study hall, and I don’t want to do my homework…

    It kind of got worse from there until it just trailed off with no ending because study hall had ended.

    • Jesselyn Girl permalink*
      August 10, 2010 1:12 pm

      Ah. My husband wrote me one that went “I love you this —————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————> much”. Seriously, who does that?

      • August 11, 2010 12:14 pm

        Apparently my fiance and your husband. 😀

  2. August 10, 2010 1:34 pm

    happy anniversary!

    umm…maybe quote some scripture? that could be a start?

    • Jesselyn Girl permalink*
      August 10, 2010 4:30 pm

      He unfortunately does not do Scripture. Sucks.

  3. Ikram permalink
    August 10, 2010 2:12 pm

    Over Valentines day I told my ex husband that instead of exchanging gifts we should exchage love letters .Well i did my part and wrote one that left me crying at the end what i got in return was a five pargraphe email explaining the meaning od saint valentine and how wrong i was to even adopt such non Muslim costums ….can you beleive it ?

  4. August 10, 2010 2:29 pm

    Whichever way, thanks for sharing…

    More importantly, HAPPY ONE MONTH ANNIVERSARY to you and Shoestring Boy Cory! ^.^

  5. Amanda permalink
    August 18, 2010 12:26 pm

    Not sure if you’ve already written your letter, but I’m a big love letter writer (my engineer boyfriend is slowly coming around to them). If something big happens, or I just feel the need to profess my love I try and make a happy sandwhich: general lovey statement, specific instance where love blooms stronger than normal (impromtu breakfast in bed) and general happy / this is why we’re good together conlusion. Sometimes they’re 3 sentences, sometimes 3 paragraphs.

    Good luck!

  6. October 6, 2010 4:48 pm

    what a cute idea! I may steal this for our anniversary since we are also flat broke as well.

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