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Things I Have Learned After A Year Of Marriage

August 14, 2010

Of course, with every milestone comes list of things you learn or regret. So without further ado, my list:

What I learned from the first year of marriage:

I thought the moment I said “I do” would be life-changing. A defining moment. You know, the Heaven’s open up, God sends a dove down from Heaven, wait, this scene was for a baptism, my bad. I was at least expecting some sort “ah-ha!” or a deep over-whelming wave of emotion to come crashing down on me. That’s what happens, right? People cry all the time when they are saying their vows. I was wrong. What defined me was the everyday decisions to love him and continue loving him. Even when I really just want to throw him out on his ear. Every day, every moment is a defining moment.


Love grows. I love Cory more now than I did a year ago and a year ago I thought I couldn’t possibly love someone more.


He will test your patience, you’ll want to toss him out and tell him to go back to “his place” until you sort through your feelings, he will make you cry, and remember, “Crap, I am stuck with him. Forever”. Then you will think, “maybe it isn’t so bad afterall.”


You will laugh when his idea of bringing you breakfast in bed is doughnuts from the little shop next to his barber, jalepeno kolaches because he remembers you like them spicy and a little bottle of Borden’s milk. No tray, thank you very much, just a doggy bag for you.


You realize that he makes everything in your life more bearable even when life is putting you through the wringer and you are convinced the powers that be hate you and want you in as much misery as possible. You know, those days when things are rough and you give yourself a mental slap and a shake and say, “Okay, let’s count our blessings” and the only thing you can come up with is, “Well, I guess it’s a good thing I am still alive. I think”. Then you remember you have someone who adores you and that’s not too shabby either.


He thinks it is finally safe to leave skid marks on his underwear and you will cry. He will then vehemently deny any wrong-doing and then you will laugh. And ask him to do his own underwear laundry.


You’ll wonder why the flip you were freaking about how perfect your invitations had to be a year ago. Certainly doesn’t matter anymore now. Wait. This might just be a Jesselyn thing.


No. Not everyday is a la-dee-dah day in fairy-love-wonderland. There will be days when he cannot say a darn thing right and the only cure is chocolate and an early night of sleep and then some more chocolate.


I refuse to comment on whether or not the sex is better or worst because my little sister reads this, my brother reads this and Heaven forbid any future employer of mine should stumble across this. However, you may email me for a candid insight.


What have you learned in your first (give or take a few) years of marriage?


4 Comments leave one →
  1. August 15, 2010 2:21 am

    Life in marriage has it ups and downs. The important things are communication and let your love for each other to continue to grow and change over the years. For if your love is growing it is alive and will sustain you through the rough times and lift you in the good times.

  2. August 16, 2010 8:47 am

    I love what you said about deciding to love him every day, even when he’s making you nuts. I thought that saying our vows would be this huge transcendent moment, but they weren’t at all. Marriage is much more gradual than I thought it would be!

  3. Ashley permalink
    August 17, 2010 12:18 pm

    I know exactly how you feel. I’ve been almost married for a year. So true.

  4. August 24, 2010 10:25 pm

    I want the sexy e-mail! Me! Me!

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