The Vows

I don’t have my professional pictures yet but is that going to hold back my recaps? No, because I am the awesome-st blogger in the world. And the humblest of course 😉

How to wed:

. sit in your dressing room till the last possible second before deciding, “Hmm… changing might be a really good idea”

. Have the bridesmaids start hyperventilating because they are going to have to put your veil on for you and “F-ing A, we have no clue how to do this”.

. Sister gives you a smooch on your cheek and comes away to realize that she has left a bright red lipstick imprint on your blusher veil. Everyone cusses and runs for makeup remover.

. Everyone runs outside to get lined up like pigs to the slaughter. You take that brief respite to ask your Daddy to pray for you. Simultaneously thinking “Crap, this is really happening” and “WTH, I have already done this, why am I freaking out again?”

. Think “so much for brief respite” as bridesmaids and everyone and their grandmother run in and out of the bridal suite trying to put last minute stuff away. Looks like that iPhone wasn’t able to fit in her bra afterall.

. Walk down the aisle and hold your breath. See your beloved and whoosh. Just like that, the world rightens on its axel, the room stop being off kilter and everything sorts of fades away. Then you realize crap, you just been watching too many rom coms, that is just the veil getting in the way, why did you decide to wear a blusher?

. Holds your breath as you realize you didn’t go over the “giving away” bit with the pastor and your parents.

“Who blesses the union of this woman to this man?”

“Rose and I do”

. Thank God the pastor knows you well enough to know that he mentioned “giving her” you were going to have a choking fit and collapse at the altar. Or maybe something equally dramatic.

. The pastor asks for the rings. Your maid of honor hands it over only for your pastor to look at it quizzically. “Wrong ring” and turn to the Best Man instead.

. Your beloved squeezes your hand three times. I. Love. You. And winks. You smile. And squeeze back twice. Me. Too.

. He says his vows. You say your vows.

. And then the kiss. The groom throws your blusher back. And you see his eyes widen in panic as he thinks “F- did I rip out her veil?” Realizes he didn’t and kisses you.

. You lean back really quick because your Asian relatives are watching and you feel akward about public physical affection even though you grope him in public whenever they aren’t watching anyway.

. You beloved doesn’t allow you to get away that easily and traps you in his arms and you think “this is not such a bad place to be”

. Pastor pronounce you husband and wife.

. You stand at the alter in a daze till the pastor give you a gentle shove to remind you to go back down the aisle. Oh right. You are done now. 

 

 Author’s Note: I am sure you all sick to death of recaps. It is extremely hard, I have you know to be able to recapture into words how much the wedding meant to you. Really – ask Mrs T! You probably have one more recap coming your way (don’t moan at me!). With a comprehensive list of my vendors. I know, all of this is just mind-numbingly dull but bear with me. I am trying to make this as entertaining as I can I swear! And then we are done. And all you have left to content with is me moping about what to do about this blog!